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You're so ugly, when you
walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of
China.
You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out
with an application.
If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.
You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you Shit
Happens.
You're so ugly, your mate won't have to worry about
birth control...your face will do just fine.
You're so ugly, you could model for death threats.
You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted
windows on your incubator.
You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.
You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror your
reflection turns to stone.
You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to
bury you.
You're so ugly, your doctor is a vet.
You're so ugly, when you were born the doctor took one
look at you and slapped your parents.
You're so ugly, you stuck your head out of the car
window and got arrested for mooning.
You're so ugly, your pet name is Scooby-Doo.
Your girl is so ugly, you gave her a hickey and got a
mouthful of fur.
You're so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.
You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor your
father went into shock.
You're so ugly, every time your mother looks at you she
says to herself, "Damn, I should've
just given head."
I know why you look like a horse, because I saw your
mother grazing in the field.
You're so ugly, when we play peek-a-boo - first I
peeked, then I booed.
You're so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make
monster cookies.
You're so ugly, they call you Taco Bell, when people see
you they run for the border.
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
You're so ugly, the tide wouldn't bring you in.
You're so ugly, I took you to see the zookeeper and he
said, "Thanks for bringing him back."
You're so ugly, you mother had to get drunk before she
breast fed you.
You're so ugly, you went to a freak show and got a
permanent job.
You're so ugly, the police sketch artists are afraid to
draw you.
You're so ugly, when you get sick they call the vet.
You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.
You're so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.
You're so ugly, every time you go out you get chased by
the dog catcher.
You're so ugly, when you jerk off your hand tries to
fall asleep.
You're so ugly, you can't hail a bus.
You're so ugly, they call you Moses because every time
you step in the lake, the water parts.
You're so ugly, you give Freddy Kruegger nightmares.
You're so ugly, they let you park in handicapped spaces.
You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't
come back.
You're so ugly, when you went to the zoo they refused to
let you out.
You're so ugly, you can't get a date off the calendar.
You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor the
doctors went on strike.
You're so ugly, your last name is Link and your first is
Missing.
You're so ugly, people put your picture in their car
window as an anti-theft device.
You're so ugly, that you can turn milk into yogurt, just
by looking at it.
You're so ugly, people create a Jackson Pollock style
painting when they spew on the floor.
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